fighting

too many things happen in my life recently,
anyway dun wan think abt other things first
do my best for my sem 5 final!!!aza aza fighting
always make a total effort,even the odds are against me!!
gud luck shereen lee

i cried everytime i hear this song truly

Because im a GIRL

I just can't understand the ways
Of all the men and their mistakes
You give them all your heart
And then they rip it all away

You told me how much you loved me
And how our love was meant to be
And I believed in you
I thought that you would set me free

(REFRAIN):
You should've just told me the truth
That I wasn't the girl for you
Still, I didn't have a clue
So my heart depended on you, whoa

(CHORUS):
Although I'll say I hate you now
Though I'll shout and curse you out
I'll always have love for you
Because I am a girl

Been told a man will leave you cold
Get sick of you and bored
I know that it's no lie
I gave my all, still I just cry

Never again will I be fooled
To give my all when nothing's true
I won't be played again
But I will fall in love again

(REFRAIN)

(CHORUS)

I loved you so
Now you leave me in the cold
How could this be
I thought that you'd only love me

Into the night
I will pray that you're alright
You hurt me so
I just can't let you go

You took advantage of my willingness
To do anything for love
Now I'm the only one in pain
Will you please take it all away

Never thought being born a girl
How I can love you and be burned
And now I will build a wall
To never get torn again

nice lyrics dat i heart

周杰伦—安静->为什么我连分开都迁就著你 我真的没有天份 安静的没这么快 我会学著放弃你 是因为我太爱你

张栋梁-错了再错-》我可以痛了再痛，你可以错了再错 不甘心，不闪躲,却为那失真的承诺 我转身让你玩着火，
你存心用尽我宽容 为什么连谎言你也刺破

Because I am a girl->I just can't understand the ways,Of all the men and their mistakes,
You give them all your heart,And then they rip it all away.. Although I'll say I hate you now,Though I'll shout and curse you out
,I'll always have love for you,Because I am a girl..Been told a man will leave you cold
,Get sick of you and bored,I know that it's no lie,I gave my all, still I just cry..
Never again will I be fooled, To give my all when nothing's true,I won't be played again
,But I will fall in love again

眼泪知道-》如果连自尊都已经不再需要，这个世界什么爱你买不到，天真全部可以倒掉

世界末日-》想笑来伪装掉下的眼泪，点点头承认自己会怕黑，我只求能借一点的时间来陪，你却连同情都不给，想哭来试探自己麻痹了没，全世界好像只有我疲惫无所谓反正难过就敷衍

update again when hv time

can shereen lee reborn?

recently de shereen lee really kns
duno wat she want n wat she doing
everyday the mind block by something,really HATE!
but seems like no one can help me,
where is my effort??
i really miss the moment dat once i saw ur msg asking me study,n my motivation straightly there n focus
but now cant hv the feel anymore,i ask u motivate me,but u kiddingly asking me dont need study..
u duno how serious im influence by you,but now seems like u not willing to b on my way d..
sigh~i hv to crawl myself,though haard way,but i hope i manage to go through

=.=

i really hate myself always cant concentrate in my study cuz of him
y m i always the one in pain
hate hate hate
my final going to rubbish bin d
idiot shereen lee!!!

after 1st paper but aint happy

really afraid of everything dat relate to u now=(
i duno how can i get back my own
lastnite really too suffer,n today morning i decided to share it out wif penguin as i cant handle myself anymore,
although no one can help me bsides myself,
i aso duno wat attitude should i hv now,try not to b so care anymore

爱一个人，是学着去体谅他想要的一切

我知道有时候你一个人时会很害怕，

害怕着等不到他来电，害怕着一个人胡思乱想，

想要出门却怕他找你，出门了却拿着手机不放，

在他还没有出现以前，你的朋友知己是满天下，

可却在他出现了以后，你的世界只剩下他一人...

为了他，你放弃了与朋友们出门的机会，

为了他，你把你的时间都留给了空闲的他，

为了他，你也把许多异性的号码给删除了，

为了他，你甚至选择不与其他异性出门了，

为了他，你几乎失去了自己的一切自由...

不与好朋友出门，只是不想在自己快乐时，让他一个人寂寞，

把时间都留给她，因为你知道他很忙，要是不说就没机会聊了，

删除异性的号码，只是知道他会不开心，所以选择放弃那些人，

不与异性出门，因为你不想让自己成为他的藉口，让他和异性出门，

最终，你放弃了一切，只因为你爱上了一个人...

于是你变了，你变得不再快乐了，你每天提心吊胆，

等不到他电话你会着急，看不见他的回复你会不开心，

你知道他和异性出门你吃醋，他不肯为你妥协你伤心，

你觉得你付出的真心不应该是得到这样伤心的回报，

觉得自己爱得好痛苦，爱情不应该是这样子的...

最终你为他留了许多的眼泪，他始终也从你的身边离去了，

你问他你有什么地方做的不好，你可以为了他改变一切，

他说不出你哪里不好，他知道你在乎，但他厌倦的却是你的在乎，

他不喜欢你管他，他不喜欢你烦他，他不喜欢你等他，

可你不可能不管他，你不可能不找他，你不可能不等他，

你嘴上说你会学着改变，但他却始终没有选择相信了...

其实你心中很清楚，你可以为他改变一切，

但就是改变不了对他的那一份在乎，

你爱他，但你的在乎却成了他沉重的包袱，

其实你没错，只是他不懂得珍惜了，

而他也没错，只是你真的太在乎了...

害怕他离去，你在乎了，在乎的是什么？

是他吗？还是你害怕的是自己受伤呢？

爱一个人，不应该是如何去在乎他的一切，

爱一个人，而是学着去体谅他想要的一切，

懂得体谅，何尝不是一种在乎呢？

penang nov

oh yeah,went to pg wif my aunt family,finally hv the chance to dump my books for 1 day,enjoy the day as vy long din take take n take photos d...
happy to hang out wif them at least im not alone myself..
while at nite stay wif mum n dad at our apartment,the next day hv e memorable session wif my parent as 1st time sing k wif them,my dad so cute..haha..
here some photos to go^^

gonna sit for 1st paper in few more hours

today is 21st d,n tmr will b my 1st paper of sem 5 officially,
applied economics,the only paper dat i can score A for this sem as i hv 45/50 for carry marks,
however i think myself ruined the chance as i less focuz on it during dis study week,n the worst is i always feel lack of time n hardly to understand the theory,
however i hope i can do it well tmr,as u say,no confident will destroy everything,miss u much much

hmmm

we friend bac..
but sometime really cant help when u din reply me!!haiz..
u say u hv ur reason,but i still disappointed wif u..
feel like delete u frm fb,so dat i wont knw when u online..
please le fren..i wan study hard

senior's convocation

its the raining season n yet convocation days..
i hv decided to attend the 1st nov evening session..
no bus to there n the route bhind my hostel has been flooded..
so nd to walk under the rain frm mall to the hall..
all the way feel like go for fish catching as our legs are all the way inside water..haha
n here some pics!!

jia shan

wai shin

emun
but sadly miss a lot of seniors convo visit cuz raining season n busy prepare for exam,,
anyway happy for their graduation..
thanks for the care all the way=)good luck for future..
can saw many parents include ah gong ah ma come for their convo n keep smilling,really like the scene

great story for my situation,will learn frm this

一个苦者找到一个和尚倾诉他的心事。

　　他说：“我放不下一些事，放不下一些人。” 　　 　　

和尚说：“没有什么东西是放不下的。” 　 　 　　

他说：“这些事和人我就偏偏放不下。” 　　 　　

和尚让他拿着一个茶杯，然后就往里面倒热水，一直倒到水溢出来。

苦者被烫到马上松开了手。 　　 　　

和尚说：“这个世界上没有什么事是放不下的，痛了，你自然就会放下。” 　　

　　你可能觉得难过 　　 　　

因为无论你对他怎么好 他都不领情 　　 　　

他不是看不到 他只是装作看不到 　　 　　

或者他根本不想看到 　　 　　

你觉得自己很喜欢他 　　 　　

甚至觉得再没有一个人可以像你那么喜欢他 　　 　　

你用尽全力对他好 　　 　　

把他看的比自己还重要 　　 　　

有什么事情第一个就想到他 　　 　　

联系不到他的时候　你担心他担心的快疯了 　　 　　

然而你有没有想过 　　 　　

这并不在你的责任范围 　　 　　

而且很有可能他是在躲着你 　　 　　

他受不了你对他那么好 不要一直发短信给他 　　 　　

不要一直找他 　　 　　

你也许只是想找他说说话 　　 　　

你觉得那很正常　不算苛求 　　 　　

但是也许他并不这么想 　　 　　

记住　你的想法不代表他的想法 　　 　　

你是真的不求回报的在喜欢他吗 　　 　　

你扪心自问一下 　　 　　

你确定不用他回报什么吗 　　 　　

那为什么你会难过 　　 　　

若是真的一无所求 　　 　　

你又怎么会觉得难过呢 　　 　　

所以　别觉得你那么爱他是伟大的 　　 　　

也许她根本不在乎你怎么为他付出 　　 　　

有时候你给他的爱或许是种负担 　　 　　

这种负担只会让他更加想远离你 　　 　

　因为他不想亏欠你 　　 　　

别事事为他担心为他张罗 　　 　　

你觉得他没有你不行 　　 　　

你觉得别人做不到你那么完善 　　 　　

但是你要清楚 　　 　　

你不是他要的那个人 　　 　　

你做的再完善也敌不过人家不做 　　

　　

那个位置本来就不是你的 　　 　　

你何必硬要挤上去呢 　　 　　 　　

你说道理你都懂　只是你做不好 　　 　　

喜欢他不是你的错 　　 　　

想关心他不是你的错 　　 　　

控制不住自己不是你的错 　　 　　

但是那是你的方式 　　 　　

人家不一定就能接受你这种所谓无私的爱

　　 　　

所以如果你喜欢他　他不喜欢你 　　 　　

那么就请你默默的 　　 　　

别试图让他知道 　　 　　

就算你会难过　甚至难过的流泪 　　 　　

就请你默默的 　　 　　

就算是逼自己也好 　　 　　

一定要忍着 　　 　　 　 　　

傻孩子．

　　 　　忘了吧．所有你留恋的．你回忆的．你拥有过的．

　　 　　那些．都已是记忆．

　　 　　缺失并不可怕．

　　 　　可怕的．是无法面对． 　　 　　 　　

傻孩子．

　　 　　你无法轻易忘记放弃．是因为你付出过．

　　 　　付出了．她就会像柱子一样扎根在心．

　　 　　不要刻意去逃避．刻意忘记．那只会让你更痛苦．

　　 　　绕开这个柱子．寻找未来的幸福生活吧．

　　 　　那里．有你的理想． 　　 　　 　　 　　

傻孩子．

　　 　　开始新的习惯吧．

　　 　　习惯．每天一个人生活．

　　 　　习惯．一个人过生日．一个人行走．

　　 　　习惯．走过熟悉的路．面对熟悉的景．

　　 　　你逃不掉．逃不掉的．

　　 　　那么．就勇敢面对．现实． 　　 　　

现实是．一切．画上了句点． 　　 　　 　　 　　

傻孩子．

　　 　　勇敢看着镜子中的自己吧．

　　 　　这个悲伤软弱满面憔悴的自己．

　　 　　这也是你．成长中的你．

　　 　　这个你．正在逐渐死去．

　　 　　新的你．即将重生．

　　 　　找寻你的路．你的未来．

　　 　　你知道的．所有的浩劫．都是成长的祭奠．

　　 　　做最好的自己．即使．一个人． 　　 　　 　　 　　

傻孩子．

　　 　　好．好．尽情发泄吧．

　　 　　剥开自己的心．用文字．用声音．用所有能发泄的方式．

　　 　　泄完了．就要振作．

　　 　　看吧．你失去的．其实微不足道．

　　 　　还有那么多人关心着你．以不同的方式．

　　 　　所以．你并不孤独．

　　 　　正是这样的失去．让你看清现在所拥有的幸福． 　　 　　 　　 　　

傻孩子．

　　 　　别哭．别再哭．

　　 　　不值得．真的．不值得了．

　　 　　把过去尘封吧．别委屈．别不甘心．别不接受．

　　 　　开始新的旅程吧．去遇见新的风景．新的际遇． 　　 　　做你该做的事吧．有很多事．等待着你完成呢．

傻孩子．

　　 　　生活褪去了曾有的颜色．暂时宁静．

　　 　　别沉沦在这片宁静里．那会毁掉你．

　　 　　你要明白．虽然残忍．但这个决定．足够正确．

　　 　　现在的生活．不是你想要的．

　　 　　为了你的理想．你必须学会适时放弃．

　　 　　给对方最好的关怀．就是．变的更好．更强大．更幸福． 　　

recently i really duno how to say my life is!!!aiks...
undergo 2 minor surgeries wif taking out my tooth nerves,n the doctor dig dig dig..
i really wholebody no energy when sitting on the chair,wif the eyes close tight n the heart beating couldnt stop..aiks..
n now another prob dat i create myself lo...really everyweek aso no peace..
speechless d..lets wait the time pass..recently feel dat no one can understand me anymore=.= ,i really feel like crying off loud in front of u..
i dun wan fb anymore,will tweet my feelings at twitter,peace~

wonder

i really wonder y some guys is likedat..
i do hv close guy best frens dat treat me really gud,
but i wonder sometime wats on their mind till made me really lazy to choy them
eg,1 of them who use to study together wif me although diff course,he likes to call me n talk all abt academics,really sien!!n finally i manage to avoid his calls,but now he find me in fb chats,n when he see me online,he will say:wah so relax~
walao eh,i study whole day n on fb awhile,u aso wan bother n say till seem like i relax whole day..really dislike..

dats y i like bad guys,those who fail in exams but not always study study n study!!

afraid

haiz..i really feel afraid when i look clearly on my teeth..getting more n more holes
since im small,mt teeth structure r not well structured,or should say as vy vy ugly,
not only big,but senget here n there,n everyone see me sure wil say,later on must wear braces..
actually im vy scared of those teeth things,my teeth not only not nice,but get spoil easily compare to other normal ppl..
when primary sku,i always get call to the dentist room in school, n everytime sure something will happen,if i hv to take off my teeth,the whole sku will hear my crying sounds..haiz..cant control,
so once i saw the green card arrive to my class,i start to worry on..
n the dentist is my mum's fren,den she will tell how serious r my teeth to my mum...i really afraid to hear wat she say although i heard bfore many times jor..
so when in secondary school,i started to hv appointment for my braces at the alorstar main gov dental clinic..
as bcuz of my teeth r weak n hv many fillings nd to b done bfore start wearing it,so i delay quite a long time..
after wearing it,the doctor advised me to take care of my teeth well as im in special case,if not when i take off will b vy cham....
therefore,i really brush teeth once i ate something,but my teeth still vy weak,always get complain abt hygiene...haiz...the doctor got mention bfore when im baby dat time,mayb lack of calsium or duno wat dat made my teeth cant b strong,n my liquid inside my mouth is pekat...
i really afraid of the feeling on the dental chair,wif the spotlight show on u...but i always hv to b brave for myself...
i stil remember the day when i take off my braces,i really nearly faint to c my teeth...i immediately go private clinic for filling,but she just done 2 for me..n nd to go back again...but i really afraid of facing reality,dats my bad habit
today again i saw my teeth,is worsen ,wif more caries,ohno!!!i straight away feel like crying out
y always happen to me though once i hv my meal i brush my teeth,but is still so....mayb i no oftenly floss it...i gonna tell my dad faster bring me to clinic again..no more delay!!!shereen pls dun delay appointment d!!!=.=...............

worry=(

this time really many disaster n unpredict thing happen//
first ppl i worry the most is daddy,hope he wil take care of himself in this season as flood heavily n he nd to work 24 hours,hopefully he wont go to the deep deep water part...though lastime my mum warn her alot d...hopefully he take care of everything la..daughter always love u^^

n another person dat i care so much...1 day din reply me d...mayb is over busy but im still worry abt him...hmmm..fast fast reply me yea..im still waiting

day in memory,04/11/10

what a day...
study till 4.30am den hv a headache when wake up cuz i knew dat i nd to face malan today..
malan really made me stress,i study whole night but the concept hard to understand..
but i stil nd to overcome it...by nearly 12pm my rumate went to cafe n call me dat all r closed,mean no food...dis time duno nd to go where hunt for food...the day bfore aso likedat..haiz..therefore i think i dun wan waste my time ,eat cup mee!!!
den i really feel like going bac home..den i called my dad n my aunt,they say all the road connect to alor star blocked jor...really sigh..nd to survive here..
but den by around 1 or2pm,my roomate recieve a msg saying our timetable for exam delay...
i terus feel like ..DONT!!
den faster login to portal,but portal traffic jam..den c everyone posting in fb day exam delay...
den both of us shout out...n the hostel in chaos again
everyone saying wanna go bac as we hv 1 month study week!!
but HOW WE CAN OUT FROM UUM?
everyone saying dat we cant reach alorstar due to road block
they say u sure cant bac cuz road all block,den shahab flood n all fake rumours..
my dad said he drive his office car,come n rescue we 7 ppl
actually got 1 bus d to butterworth but cancel again..all aso cant confirm...
den when my dad reach wif Ford,den we all squeeze in wif 2 of my frens sit at the last part wif luggage,pity..haha..
den all the way.aso dark dark cuz raining..den when reach jitra the water at town clear jor..
but the road some block so nd to turn abit..n got 1 part the water is abit high..but our car manage to past through it..after dat we into the highway...whole highway dark dark de n we r the only car...feel like vy scary..
n den reach alorstar,the road to shahab din block pun..
really hate those stupid rumours..
aiks..
den hunt for tickets wif my frens..
after dat went to kfc,tot wanna eat at there,but no drinks,n again no mash potato n jz hv original chicken..swt..
at last reach my home n totally tired so slept early..
dats the day..i no worries for exam for dis moment,but the stuggle will extend

stress

stress up when nd to really really focus for my 1st paper...
sob sob..
malan really damn hard to understand n remember..
aza

rainy days non stop

raining raining,
1st time feel the rain dat more den 2 days non stop..
cool..i back to my uum for study week on 31st oct,by the time i reach uum,its ad rain cats n dogs,den after dat back to my rum,vy cooling,nice wheather to sleep,but sadly we nd study...
n so i can c the river my hostel is going to full d..
den by 1st nov,heard dat there ad block on road due to flooding..
den c the video posted on fb abt uum condition,wao..reallydangerous..
den attend seniors convo...the usual road we use is dangerous,therefore we walk a big round to dewan mas..
however the journey like fish catching...all the way kaki rendam air..
hoho...so excited..
n the 3rd day,finally no rain jor,however cafe all closed..
i heard the jitra road get closed..the convo also delayed..
really create many chaos jor..
hopefully situation fast fast recover...n evertyone are safe..
continue fight for study